


The Ghost Of You And Me

by Angel_Waters



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 19:59:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Waters/pseuds/Angel_Waters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic: "The Ghost Of You And Me" by BBmak</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost Of You And Me

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on PommeDeSang under the pen name xDeaDesdemona, I changed my handle when I switched sites but still the same author.

THE GHOST OF YOU AND ME

song by: BBmak

 

I lit a candle and stared into the flame. It felt like I would surely go blind from looking at it for so long. Marianne said it would help me meditate, to clear my mind. I certainly needed it to be cleansed.

 

_What am I supposed to do_

_With all these blues_

_Haunting me everywhere_

_No matter what I do_

_Watching the candle flicker out_

_In the evening light_

_I can’t let go_

_When will this night be over_

 

I couldn’t believe it had really been such a long time. I’d refused to let myself think about him after leaving. Still, the image of him passing out in that stairwell had shaken me more than I’d care to admit.

 

_I didn’t mean to fall in love with you_

_And baby there’s a name_

_For what you put me through_

_It isn’t love, it’s robbery_

_I’m sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

 

I hadn’t lied, exactly. I really didn’t think about him in a romantic way, or even a sexual way. Not back then, anyway. He wouldn’t understand all of my true reasons for hating the idea of him marrying Donna.

_Seen a lot of broken ships go sailing by_

_Phantom ships lost at sea_

_And one of them is mine_

_Raising my glass, I sign a toast_

_To the midnight sky_

_I wonder why_

_The stars don’t seem to guide me_

 

I stared at the flickering light and imagined his face. My heart ached, but I could still see him perfectly. I still remembered every little detail: the strong shape of his jaw, the curve of his lips, the faint wrinkles around his eyes when I amused him...

 

_I didn’t mean to fall in love with you_

_And baby there’s a name_

_For what you put me through_

_It isn’t love, it’s robbery_

_I’m sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

 

I couldn’t let my shields drop, fearing that Jean-Claude or Richard or Nathaniel or Damian might see into my head, but meditations don’t work when you guard yourself so much. I had to get these thoughts out of my head. At the same time, I had to keep shielding as tightly as I could.

 

_The ghost of you and me_

_When will you set me free_

_I hear the voices call_

_Following footsteps down the hall_

_Trying to save what’s left_

_Of my heart and soul_

 

I was screwed either way, so I did nothing. I just kept watching as the wax melted down to nothing more than a hot puddle on the kitchen counter. I waited silently as it cooled and hardened.

 

_Watching the candle flicker out_

_In the evening glow_

_I can’t let go_

_When will this night be over_

 

I started scraping off the wax, making tiny little pieces flake off. I looked down and realized that I’d carved a heart with Edward’s name inside. I immediately scratched it out and peeled off the rest of the wax.

 

_I didn’t mean to fall in love with you_

_And baby there’s a name_

_For what you put me through_

_It isn’t love, it’s robbery_

_I’m sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

 

He’d never feel the same way about me. I knew that. But it still hurt to get the wedding invitation. Maybe I should’ve burned it.

_I didn’t mean to fall in love with you_

_And baby there’s a name_

_For what you put me through_

_It isn’t love, it’s robbery_

_I’m sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

 

I’d never again come home to find him sitting at my kitchen table, helping himself to a cup of coffee. I’d never again be annoyed by that stupid smirk he gave me when he thought I was being naive. I’d never again look at those cold blue eyes, feeling as if they could see straight into my soul. I looked around the house, remembering all the times he’d been there. I never thought I’d miss him. I never realized just how much he meant to me.

 

_I didn’t mean to fall in love with you_

_And baby there’s a name_

_For what you put me through_

_It isn’t love, it’s robbery_

_I’m sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

 

Footsteps jerked me out of my little reverie. Micah was suddenly there, giving me a quick hug and kiss on the forehead as he left for some coalition emergency. Nathaniel followed, checking to make sure I knew where the leftovers were to heat up for dinner while he was at work before rushing to catch a ride with Micah.

 

_I didn’t mean to fall in love with you_

_And baby there’s a name_

_For what you put me through_

_It isn’t love, it’s robbery_

_I’m sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

 

Damian came up a while later, having finished his evening routine of brushing his beautifully long hair and getting dressed in a simple suit. He preferred to change into his work clothes once he got there. He paused in the doorway when he saw I was crying. After calling to let Jean-Claude know of his absence, he cradled me in his arms and just held me. He didn’t ask any questions. Then again, the invitation sitting on table in front of me might’ve given him a big enough hint.


End file.
